Today was not so fantastic. This morning my phone rang around 7 am and I picked it up knowing who it would be and what she would say. It was my mom telling my that my amazingly strong Aunt Donna had peacefully slipped away into Jesus' arms early this morning. I knew it was coming... I had even said my goodbye to her before I left to come to Kansas... but how do you say goodbye to someone who is still living? How do you go away from your family knowing that one of the members will never be there when you return? Knowing that they won't be there for Thanksgiving or Christmas or the random trip to Nanny's. Knowing she won't get to see her daughter walk down the aisle, or her grandson go to 6th grade as she once said she wanted to see. Knowing that her youngest daughter thought of her as a mother, a co-worker and a best friend all wrapped into one. I am going to be completely honest and tell you that this SUCKS! I know that Aunt Donna isn't suffering anymore and is having a birthday party with Jesus right now but my heart feels so heavy for the closest people in her life. This day has me really thinking about relationships and how each of my family members had a different one with my Aunt. I think about my grandparents, about how they are saying goodbye to their first born child... a second child lost. I think of the my dad who said goodbye to his big sister, I can't even think about losing one of my brothers. I think of my cousins, Andrea and Alexis who are saying goodbye to their mom... I just can't even imagine what that is like... it makes me sick imagining it. Tonight I was listening to the radio and Shania Twain's song "Forever and Always" came on and I just started to cry. First I started to think about how much I miss my boyfriend, Chris. I then started thinking about my Uncle Matt, wondering how my aunt and uncle met. Knowing that they probably never thought that they would say goodbye to each other at such an early age. Knowing that as young adults they probably imagined growing old together. I cried the entire way home listening to the words of this song and putting myself in this situation. "Cause I'm keeping you forever and for always, we will be together all of our days, when I wake up in the morning to your sweet face... always" I am grieving so much more for my family members than I am myself. Don't get me wrong, I loved my aunt so much, but I think about the people that were with her and lived with her for years and I just cry. I pray that the Boyle and Massimini families hold tight to each other in this tough time.
Aunt Donna, I miss you so much and I am so happy that you are no longer suffering. You would make it a clean 55 years of life right on the dot! I think it is really neat that you entered this world 55 years ago today, and entered Heaven today. It is a double birthday for sure. I love you and will never forget you or time we have spent together.
A good friend at work told me that she never says goodbye, she always says, "See ya on the flipside"... See ya on the flipside Aunt Donna, I love you!
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